standard time
comforting foods for when life decides to fight you in the alley behind the bar
Hello my friends. Sorry for the unplanned break last week, after the planned break the week before. First, the bad news. As some of you know, I was unexpectedly laid off from my job of over three years last Wednesday. I have a few weeks of severance pay and I’m going to apply for EI, so my situation isn’t super dire yet; I’m giving myself a little space before I rush to find new work. Looking for a new job is always hard, especially when you’re someone like me who has no degree other than a high school diploma and a resumé that’s all over the map— it’s difficult to look at myself on paper and feel that I’m worth hiring for any of the work I wouldn’t resent doing. And in truth, I resent that we are forced to work in order to live in any capacity, but hopefully I can find something to do that is unstressful and moderately fulfilling that will also pay me a living wage.
This news arrived around the same time Jeff and I had made the incredibly difficult decision not to remove subjects on the place we’d put an offer in on: the housing inspections confirmed some known issues and revealed some unknown issues that piled up to the point that we became too concerned about the financial situation it would put us in on top of the mortgage. I’m heartbroken about it for many reasons, not least of which being that we now have to essentially begin again when we were so close to something. So as you might imagine last week was kind of a write-off, eating leftovers out of the freezer, making instant noodles, ordering a large pizza all to myself.
The good news I have to share is less tangible, and doesn’t make my life much less of a mess, but: at the virtual fan convention I attended the weekend before last, I won an award for my writing. (Yes, it’s fanfiction; for obvious reasons I won’t link it here but you can message me if you’re curious and promise to be chill about it.) I also participated in leading three panels, one about writing which I led on my own, one doing in-depth media analysis with a friend, and another with the same friend that was a combination of both, and they were all really well attended and well received. It’s so fulfilling to be able to share the things you love with other people who love them, and be part of a community with amazing history that values difference, respect, and the ability to learn from each other. It was definitely worth getting up at 5am three days in a row for. (Time zones, man.)
Every year, the switch back to standard time has me writhing in despair at the 4:30 sunset, knowing it’s going to get even worse before it gets better. The sunsets this time of year at this latitude, though, are truly spectacular. Because the sun sets in the very southwest of the horizon, it fills up more of the sky than in summer, when it sets behind the mountains to the north, and from here in North Van the city skyline across the water looks like it’s on fire. As much as I hate the cold and the dark, I can still appreciate this window of time for what it is: an excuse to comfort myself with familiar media and rich foods, a reason to show off my hand-knit sweaters, and a reminder to appreciate some of the things that aren’t there in the brighter times of the year. Onward.
Even aside from all the tough things I’m dealing with on a personal level, I find my motivation to cook in general slows down around now, and I settle into making things that are simple or familiar or both. I often find the hardest part, for me, is actually just getting up and going into the kitchen to start cooking, so sometimes I have to almost trick myself. I’ll go in and take out most of the ingredients I know I’ll need and set my pan on the stove, go do something else for fifteen minutes, and then when I come back it feels less defeating. Or I’ll ask Jeff if he can chop up the garlic, or peel a carrot, or some other menial task that feels absolutely insurmountable for whatever reason, and once he’s doing that it’ll feel easier for me to start on the rest. The desire to be creative with or get excited about food waxes and wanes, but you still need to eat! So I encourage you, too, when cooking feels hard: make your mise en place as a little favour to yourself. Pass off a little task you don’t want to do, if you can. Make a shortcut if you need to, and it will be okay.
Perhaps predictably, I’ve been making a lot of things in the soup/stew/curry family the past few weeks. We’ve taken the carrots and potatoes out of the garden now, since it’s going to be too frosty to pull them up soon, and birds and raccoons have started trying to get to the carrots. I made a pot of borscht, which I’m never excited about while I’m making it— it’s kind of just “okay, I have all the things for borscht, I guess I’ll make it.” But then when I eat it I’m like, “my god, what a delicious soup I have made with very little effort and cost.” The dominant flavour in the one I make is actually the tomato, because I use the fire-roasted canned kind here, and of course it’s all just an excuse to cover the top with dill and sour cream, anyway.
I made this ramen— a year-round favourite, though it sees more action in the winter months— even though it uses two pots and a pan to make it the way I like it. The original recipe is vegan, but I simply can’t do without an egg, so I cook it in a small pot first, and then use the same pot to do the noodles afterwards. To get a perfectly cooked egg with a soft but not super runny yolk for your ramen, bring the water to a full boil and gently add the egg, cooking for 7 minutes before fishing it out with a slotted spoon and putting it in a bowl of ice water. Or if you always forget to prep the bowl while they egg’s cooking like I do, run it under the cold tap until it’s cool enough to handle (it’ll be a tiny bit firmer this way).
For the rest, I prep the soup base while the tofu is cooking, and heat the broth on another burner. Once the mushrooms are most of the way cooked, I boil the noodles so that they’ll be done by the time I heat up the corn (just toss into the wok at the end for a minute or so). I also mix the soup base into the pot of broth instead of putting it directly into the bowl, and nothing terrible has happened yet. The creamy, spicy broth with its salty sesame flavour is incredibly satisfying, and I never get tired of eating this.
On the day I lost my job, I was scheduled to get my flu and covid shots on the way home, and the pharmacy was right near Donald’s Market, so afterwards I went in thinking I deserved to get a treat. Instead I wandered around in a vaguely panicky daze, trying to think of pantry items I have a harder time finding for a good price around here, and also ended up with two heads of cauliflower because they were 2 for $4. I roasted the first one with some smoked paprika to make my version of this delicious pasta. I made it with coconut milk instead of cream to save Jeff’s insides, but it makes it less photogenic. (I know I link to a lot of NYT recipes in this particular newsletter, so I’ll mention again that if they’re paywalled for you, message me and I can get a shareable link. Also, some library cards grant you access, so that could be worth looking into.)
With the other cauliflower, I made a yellow curry to use some of our potatoes and carrots, along with the other half of the tofu I opened for the ramen. I’ve been making a lot of green curries lately because I love the bright, spicy flavour, but a yellow curry, the mildest of the Thai styles, can be so homey and nice. Sometimes I’ll also throw in a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter if I want it to be a bit heartier. But honestly bless curry pastes for allowing me to make a super flavourful dinner by just putting rice in the cooker, chopping a few things and throwing them in a pot with some coconut milk and a bit of lime juice and soy sauce or fish sauce, and calling it a day.
Because of our wealth of potatoes, Jeff wanted to make poutine, so we pulled some of our thanksgiving gravy out of the freezer, and discovered it was actually gravy from last year’s thanksgiving, and in finding that, I also found a container of last year’s turkey I’d chopped up for a stew or pot pie I never got around to making, apparently. So we made the poutine, and then the next day I used the thawed meat and the rest of the gravy to make a stew. It definitely would have been better if I’d used the meat before it had been in the freezer for a year, but it was still quite good (and used more potatoes and carrots, which was the most important thing).
This sesame noodle dish has been a lifesaver, because it can literally be made in the time it takes to boil the water and wait for the noodles to cook. Whisk the sauce together in a big enough bowl to mix in the noodles afterwards to save having to do more dishes. I also use instant ramen noodles, because we buy them by the flat, so we always have them. I made the full amount of sauce but for two of us we only need half the noodles, so I was able to make it a second time with the leftover sauce, making it even faster. The cucumber is really nice for its cool crunchiness against the salty, spicy sauce, but shredded cabbage or carrot is also good.
Friday night is still pizza night, usually, which is great because it’s one less thing to think about, for me at least. Jeff makes the dough early in the week and then we use whatever’s still hanging around in the fridge at the end of the week for toppings. You can tell in the pic below that we were struggling that week, because there’s no meat and no fresh vegetables, but they were still good (because it’s pizza). Last Friday’s were a little more robust: one with prosciutto, pineapple, and bell pepper, the other with kale, olive, feta, and tomato.
Thanks for reading— if you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with someone new! I like providing this to you for free, but it does still involve time and effort, so donations I can use towards cookbooks or future treats (or moving costs 😓) are much appreciated. Finally, there are two types of people: those who find this amazing, and those who find it gross.
I also dove in on that cauliflower deal! What a steal!